Xbox, Kevin Federline, and Myself, All in a Cemetery

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Last night I was at the Hollywood Forever cemetery for the launch party of a ridiculously violent Xbox game, Gears of War. So I’m in the mausoleum sipping my “Green Emulsion,” a cocktail named after a substance found in the game, and people are lining the corridors on sheet-covered furniture frantically killing each other - “press the B button to use your chainsaw!” - and the whole time I’m thinking about the other dead people, the ones resting inches away from these gamers.

Louise Leith Wittier (1853-1917) has a great view of the action. She never lived to see a black and white TV, could she have comprehended her final resting place would host a party for a video game about killing heavily armed monsters named for a biblical plague? I take a picture, then notice it’s none other than Kevin Federline cozied up next to her. The DJ plays “Staying Alive” and the bass throbs and I’m thinking her dusty remains have got to be shifting around in there – almost like they were dancing I could say, or would “turning over in her graveâ€? be more accurate?

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One Response to “Xbox, Kevin Federline, and Myself, All in a Cemetery”

  1. Kev... Says:

    And K-Fed was having such a good time… If he had only known!

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