Now I hadn’t planned on buying ANYTHING when i was in Disney World – i assumed there wasn’t a single item of modern merchandise i’d care to own – but then i saw these EPCOT tees and i went OMG OMG! and bought them all and tried to convince others around me to do the same because these celebrate when the future was the 80’s and EPCOT was still an all-caps acronym about an aspirational global Community Of Tomorrow. Granted the one on black looks like the designer spent about 3 minutes on it resulting in a wrongness that the Silverlake hipsters will think i’m wearing ironically, but no, i really am happy to be working my collection of faux-vintage EPCOT-wear at the home, office, and gym. (If you’re a medium and like the black one let me know because I bought 2 because i didn’t know which size would fit after washing – so i’ll send u the medium if u want.)
At an amusement industry convention last week in Vegas i test rode the worlds teeniest mechanical bull. Picture some dad watching his little girl on this and you’ll know why this is the wrongest thing ever.
I’ve been seeing these around LA – PSAs from the Ad Council that must be the work of second year advertising students as this campaign appears based in ZERO audience research. Let’s break it down:
- my first read was “FAME,” not “FAKE.”
- the first statement is a request to “Take steroids.”
- but apparently you aren’t a “fake” until after you’re caught – hungh? what?- the whole point of using steroids is to make obvious gains in speed, size, and strength- outside of competitive sports (the ad is co-sponsored by the US Olympics committee) and Hollywood movie stars, no one really hides the fact they’re using them – they want the results to be seen.(And are there really that many Olympic athletes shopping at the Americana in Glendale where I saw this ad? No.)
- Did the creative team really think getting labeled a “fake” is the biggest deterrent to using steroids? Hello. Have you seen that copper-orange goo bodybuilders openly slather themselves with before a competition? They aren’t hiding that they didn’t get that hue by putting in hours in the sun, nor do they care that you know they used steroids.
- There’s no distinction between illegal use and prescribed.
- I think going to jail would be a bigger deterrent to illegal use and stating so would clarify that the ad is addressing illegal use specifically.
- “DontBeAnAsterisk.com” – nice try but i don’t equate doing steroids with being an ass – having one, yes. And if they were trying to reference possible unwanted side effects with the asterisk graphics, well, they didn’t do anything with that idea.
- Steroids? This is the problem that warrants an ad campaign? There’s like a million other behaviors that are far more problematic and widespread – like incorrect use of apostrophes. Are there really more people “being fake” by going to the gym, eating right, and doing steroids, than the gazillions of people who are sedentary blobs taxing every aspect of healthcare (and my elbow room on a recent flight – ahem!)?
I highly recommend seeing “Bigger, Stronger, Faster,” this terrific documentary, mostly about steroid use and America’s contradictions with winning and cheating – and someone recently put it all on youtube. Do check it out before it’s gone.
So at EPCOT now there’s these Kim Possible missions you can go on where u get a special cell phone that gives you the clues u need to solve various capers. Â I was tickled to get a mission set in the Norway pavilion – being I’m Norwegian and all – but oh, it got WAY better…
Ah was i gagging! Fur thefts! “Back to school” viking fashion! A drag queen shape-shifter named Camille Leon!?! Then I have to find a stolen painting she plans to turn into a handbag. Art thieves? Viking fashion? Could it get any better? YES. Then I’m supposed to infiltrate the runway show by posing as a model (every Norwegian’s true calling no?)…
Then I have to find a certain person and say “The viking look is all the rage this season.” And then the give you the designers card with the code you need to get into the show.
I won’t tell u how it ends but I can tell you it involved viking ghosts attacking runway models!?!! I mean really, it was like someone took everything i could have wanted and wrapped it into a little adventure for me. Art world, Fashion world, models, secret agent action, a photoshoot, viking ghosts!!!! And I didn’t mention theres booze at EPCOT. So there i am getting boozy and running around EPCOT by myself, taking orders from cartoons on a cell phone – a vacation activity i highly recommend!
