This week, the world’s largest sporting goods store opened in Fargo, North Dakota, the same week I happened to be visiting. Now, understand, sports are huge up here, huge as spectator sports, that is. Actual athleticism isn’t as popular. It’s “sports as leisure,” if you will. Therefore, it makes perfect sense for Fargo’s mega-sporting goods store to feature a Ferris wheel, candy shop, and shooting arcade. A rock-climbing wall would require effort, possibly sweat, and that’s no fun.

A “living statue” has nothing to do with sports but no one seems to care.

You can practice with toy guns in the shooting gallery.

Or aim for your husband with the real thing.

Buckets of candy replenish valuable carbohydrates.

And for no logical reason, Lincoln, and seven other presidents, line the second floor balcony. That’s my Fargo!

Last week friends threw a 70’s-teen-cartoon-mystery themed party. Seems there’d been reports of a sea monster scaring away visitors to the Balboa Fun Zone. We interviewed the salty sea captain and a grumpy caretaker, but it turned out Greg Brady was behind the whole thing. Zoinks!

…and that’s me with hair.

I realize New Orleans has seen better days, but if you’re running for Mayor of that city you should probably pose in the real thing, and not, as Kimberly Williamson Butler has done here, pose in Disneyland’s New Orleans Square.

UPDATE: Her slogan is “The end of politics as usual.” I couldn’t agree more. Oh we’re having fun with this. Her mayoral campaign has expanded to other lands and even New York
And now Keith Olbermann, Arianna Huffington, and some British paper are all running with it. I’ll pat myself on the back for breaking the story of Crazy Lady Running for New Orleans Mayor.UPDATE: Readers noticed the Disneyland trashcan in the photo has now been Photoshopped out but the photo still remains on her site. And previous evidence of the digitally blurred Blue Bayou restaurant sign seems to indicate the campaign knew from the get-go this was not an actual New Orleans setting. Some one please get her on a morning talk show ­ put her in front of a green screen and change her backgrounds throughout the interview.
UPDATE: It’s all done now - she finally changed the photo to something not fake, so sad.

Tour the Creation Museum currently under construction in northern Kentucky. When Biblical folklore, modern science, and low budgets collide, hilarity ensues.

This time a former Beatle sends him lyrics to a new song but "you need the music notes written for them".

I’m not into enemas but there was a guy living around the corner from Bob Hope who was. Seems this guy died recently. At the estate sale I was climbing through the garbage pile in the backyard, and found boxes and boxes of enema and rubber fetish gear, including an audio tape letter containing some of the freakiest shit you’ll ever hear. (I’ve transferrall 90 minutes to CD, email me if you want a copy.)

The two pics below were the tamest of the 400 or so I found. The first one is a man wearing an adult diaper, probably holding in an enema (I like the painting though), and the other is possibly the same man after having an enema blowout in his jeans. More of the photos will be in the first issue of Dirty Found magazine, out this fall.

A bunch of fan letters to Ray Charles just dropped in my lap. Here’s one of my favorites: