Archive for the 'Giftable' Category
Nastier! Stranger! Wilder! Sicker! I Made A Ringtone 4 U
Saturday, April 18th, 2009So Santino just twatted this TERRIBLE/TERRIFIC clip from a movie i never saw that really does look terrible – but ANY fashion photoshoot in a movie is ALWAYS good even if in a bad way.
Here Steven Meisel’s version of the classic and cliche (but accurate) i’m-a-crazy-photographer-yelling-direction-at-models bit JUST HAD TO BE MADE INTO AN IPHONE RINGTONE. U can thank me when i see u. DOWNLOAD IT and every time i call u now u must “KEEP MOVING KEEP MOVING – BUT REMEMBER THE FACES!!”
Ginormous Googly Balls
Saturday, August 9th, 2008…were found at the Wallgreens in Fargo last week.
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SOUNDS LIKE JUSTINSPACE: A Mix Tape For You
Monday, March 31st, 2008
The mix downloads as a .zip file and then you’ll have a bunch of songs in a folder – it doesn’t really matter the order they play in but I’ve numbered them in a sequence that’s nice. Here’s the link. My liner notes:
More Skull Dinnerware, and a Tea Set Too.
Saturday, March 3rd, 2007Silent Bags, Clean Dirt, and Mace that isn’t: The Wonders of Art Dept. Expendables
Sunday, February 25th, 2007Weather it’s equine ejaculators, or salmon-flesh fan-decks, I’m fascinated by items created for incredibly specific jobs. Here in LA, the unique demands of the movie industry have given rise to products no average person would ever need.

For most consumers, getting clean is the goal, but Shmere’s collection of products lets you “get dirty the clean way.� Used mainly by the wardrobe dept., these wax based, deodorant-shaped sticks come in stain colors such as: “Grass Stain,� and “Sweat.� The entire set of aging crayons costs $135 but you can buy a single stick of Schmtzstik, another wardrobe distressing product, for about $8.

Aren’t grocery bags noisy? Many a sound editor seems to think so. Lucky for them, an inventive propmaker, Tim Schultz, has gone into business fabricating “silent bags.� Although they look just like your average grocery bag, they’re made from a secret material that feels like waxy fabric. These $26(!) bags quickly recover their cost by eliminating the work of needing to edit out the dialogue-obscuring crackling a real bag would make. I just like the idea of shopping with them and knowing I’m the only one whose bags are “silent bags,� as if everyone else is being terribly gauche with their “noisy bags.� Also, I love saying “silent bags.�
Expendable Props as Gifts
This past Christmas I gave friends and family the book Prisoner’s Inventions and wrapped it in police evidence bags from the ISS Prophouse. Filling out the “chain of custody� form is a fun alternative to the traditional “To: and From:� gift labels.

I also gave my brothers breakaway glass beer bottles with the idea they could stage a bar fight. It won’t be a cheap show though; a single bottle-smash-over-the-head costs $16. Often called “candy glass,� a reference to the previous fabrication method using sugar, modern breakaway glass is made from a fragile resin. But I’ll warn you – the broken edges cut like the real thing, so be careful when holding the jagged stem to someone’s neck.
Should you need to defend yourself in a fake bar fight, arm yourself with fake mace that sprays only water. (But if your attacker is an A-list celeb, they may request to be sprayed with aerosol Evian instead.)

Finally, if your fake barroom brawl leaves you with a fake bump on the head from the makeup department, the script may dictate you take two fake painkillers and apply a cold compress using fake ice.
Halloween Marzipans Too Cute To Eat
Saturday, October 7th, 2006They’re $32, from Dean & Deluca

Rainbow Roses: They Exist
Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006Seen at the LA County Fair, these are real white roses dyed with injections made directly into the stem.Mellano and Company is one of the few US wholesalers to order them. Gay-wedding planners have never been happier.
ORDERING INFO:I don’t sell these.You must call Mellano and Company (they are not on the company’s website) or call your local florist and have them place an order through Mellano & Co.
More info/pictures: Rainbow Roses: They Arrive, I Geek OutSee also: Beyond Rainbow Roses – Rainbow Everything
“Kings of the Road” Renders Rich Hobo Lifestyle
Wednesday, August 9th, 2006It’s 100+ pages of characters encountered while riding the rails as imagined and illustrated by Ragnar.


Gothic Graveyard Garden is Cute I Guess
Tuesday, August 1st, 2006Includes: Dragon Tree Dracaena, Black Dragon Coleus, Sensitive Plant, Moon Flower, Aloe. Plant them now and they’ll be here by Halloween.

Ambient Nirvana Achieved With Buddha Machine
Tuesday, July 25th, 2006
Daniel Handler’s review in The Believer suggested getting more than one, so I got two, and now want nine. See, this Buddha Machine, created by the musical duo FM3, plays nine different ambient audio loops, which blend nicely if you turn on many silmoutaneously. I plugged one into my stereo speakers and left the other on my desk. Now I want more to hide around the apartment. There are other “praying to Buddha” machines but they use traditional chinese recordings instead. Get the FM3 version here.
Suckadelic Homotroopers Fight For Gay Empire
Sunday, July 23rd, 2006Sadly, his scene with Han Solo was cut from Episode IV.
Get yours here.
Related: Star Wars Designer Edition









