A couple weeks ago I appeared on the call-in show, Ring My Bell. Here’s the condensed video.

Poke here to visit Prairie Haunts.

Last night I was at the Hollywood Forever cemetery for the launch party of a ridiculously violent Xbox game, Gears of War. So I’m in the mausoleum sipping my “Green Emulsion,” a cocktail named after a substance found in the game, and people are lining the corridors on sheet-covered furniture frantically killing each other - “press the B button to use your chainsaw!” - and the whole time I’m thinking about the other dead people, the ones resting inches away from these gamers.

Louise Leith Wittier (1853-1917) has a great view of the action. She never lived to see a black and white TV, could she have comprehended her final resting place would host a party for a video game about killing heavily armed monsters named for a biblical plague? I take a picture, then notice it’s none other than Kevin Federline cozied up next to her. The DJ plays “Staying Alive” and the bass throbs and I’m thinking her dusty remains have got to be shifting around in there – almost like they were dancing I could say, or would “turning over in her graveâ€? be more accurate?

In the Sept 06 issue of Blackbook, Fight Club author, Chuck Palahniuk, lists his top 10 book picks over the past 10 years. My collection of online male personal ads, Obscene Interiors, takes 2004. And now I’m taking the rest of the day off to bask in the glow of his approval.

Earlier: Fight Club Author Disappointed

Last week friends threw a 70’s-teen-cartoon-mystery themed party. Seems there’d been reports of a sea monster scaring away visitors to the Balboa Fun Zone. We interviewed the salty sea captain and a grumpy caretaker, but it turned out Greg Brady was behind the whole thing. Zoinks!

…and that’s me with hair.

I’ve been making my intentionally ambiguous “Disappointed” shirts for some years now, then today I spotted a surprisingly similar Keanan Duffty shirt displaying a more aggressive sentiment: a grenade flying towards the Magic Kingdom with the word Destroy rendered above. Issues of unoriginality aside, the Destroy shirt will run you $80 but my more elegant and less angry JustinSpace label “Disappointed” shirt is only $20 ($22 with shipping).

Morning After Eggs

Scramble a few eggs with a hefty dollop of basil pesto. (It’s best to add the pesto near the end when the eggs are setting up.) It’ll look sorta gross but taste delicious, well, if you like pesto. I spent this one night with a guy who didn’t want to have sex, just wanted to cuddle, and the next morning his friend made us breakfast, and this is what he made. I think there was wheat toast too, no butter. Annie Lennox was playing. I ate the eggs next to the guy while wrapped in the comforter I dragged off his bed. His kissed me on the porch later and never returned my calls. But I made those eggs for breakfast every morning for months. His dog was named Alley McBeagle.

Macha Milk Shake

This isn’t a milkshake but close enough. You mix one scoop of vanilla flavored protein powder with about half a 1/4 teaspoon full of ground green tea powder, called macha, add some honey if you want then fill the glass with 2% milk and stir it really fast with a fork to blend. Try not to break the glass. You could use a blender but I don’t have one. The drink will look like really nasty sour milk but taste like a warm cloudy summer day spent lying on the grass. Use whole milk to make the day seem cloudier.

Last summer I was on a talk show I’d never heard of on a channel no one gets, QTN. Watch me try to explain my Obscene Interiors book while boobs float in the frame behind me.

Here’s what’s happening: reading The People of Paper and enjoy feeling where certain names were punched out of the pages, also, Joan Didion’s new book, the color of which reminds me of Tiffany’s. Just finished: How We Are Hungry, Another Bullshit Night in Suck City, Less than Zero, then rented the movie­good God what the hell was that? Also finished: The Contortionists Handbook (thanks Steve), The Lone Surfer of Montana, Kansas­got it signed by Davey himself at a Found event.) Waiting in the queue: Survivor by Chuck Palahniuk (it’s the only one I haven’t read yet) and a pile of the more elaborately bound McSweeney’s.

Oh and this past summer I saw a pre-apologetic James Frey at a not packed Vroman’s in Pasadena, gave him a copy of Obscene Interiors, and had him sign both his books for my brother (collectors items now?). He swore frequently and read an excerpt from his book almost as if it were a chore. He said his next book will be a novel set in LA about a man who thinks he’s Jesus. Best of luck with that.

Also, I’m working on a GRAMMY related project, waiting and waiting to hear if I have new book, and fretting about how I’m not in Disney World to see the new Expedition Everest ride, it’s like the Materhorn only bigger and with a diferent yeti.

Five years ago I appeared on “The Daily Show with John Stewart” in a segment inspired by my Obscene Interiors.

If the youtube link is down the video is also here.

At Jin Patisserie: