this was the front door on Christmas after we cleared the walk.

This was taken as i walked into the gym – from where the car got stuck.

And this was in the Fargo paper today.

 Turns out the “Youth Rabbit Costume” meant kids with costumed rabbits.

The “Feather Bouquet Contest” was not one of the highlights of the poultry barn.

Big sleepy pig in the petting zoo I did not pet.

View from the Ferris wheel.

The best part of “Space Odyssey 2000″ was the facade. (2000 – so futuristic!)

Luke, is that u?

C3po was in the 4H barn too.

And some kid had a display about his brother’s trampoline accident or something. Pure art.

Loving this display of winning carbs!

The reward for a good drawing is to have it all covered up by ribbons and stuff. (Thereby creating an accidental work of art about how an artist’s fame can eclipse the actual work.)

The Pirate’s Den could have used ANYTHING. It was the saddest dark ride I’ve ever been through.

A fried cheese curd is way saltier and grosser than I expected. But I appreciated the all cheese-color color scheme.

O and I got a speeding ticket last night. (I knew it was not a good idea to get in the car after playing Grand Theft Auto.) I was going 36 in a 25. And the fine? $11. (I guess they charge one dollar per mile over the limit?) Fargo is weird.

And the people are often large and slow. Slow in many ways. (Unless you’re in Fargo when you’re reading this, then you’re not.)

They drive 5 below the speed limit and live in fear they’ll get a speeding ticket. I did one night years ago doing 90 on the interstate as i tried to get to Grand Forks for some gay party in the basement of a liquor store (and i mean gay and gay). The ticket was like $27 or something and i asked the cop if he took cash. No. Then got back on the road and drove 90 the rest of the way.

This is why you’re slow? The cookies as Hornbacher’s have way more frosting than i remember as a kid.

this was an area i happened upon in an antique store – this was not a back room, everything around the sink was for sale.

I used to skate at skateland. It’s across from the gym i go to which is filled with blond steroid vikings when college is in session.

Their equiptment is sometimes scary and dangerous.

This weekend is the Red River Valley Fair which I must go see because there’s nothing else to do but drink and play video games (rented an Xbox and 6 games for a week for $20 – crazy!). I’ll probably miss the “Youth Rabbit Costume” competition which is either kids dressing as rabbits, people dressed as young rabbits, kids with costumed rabbits, people with young rabbits in costume, or people whose rabbits are in children’s costumes – either way its at 10am and that’s too early.

And I’m so bummed i just learned of the Feather Bouquet Contest (“Anyone can enter, you do not need to own or exhibit poultry.”) because I SO would have won that.

“PARTY MONSTER” Closing Party 8pm – 2808 Elm St, LA CA, 90065

We’ll have SNOW CONE COCKTAILS again – will u be there? I hope so!

Details and more at JustinJorgensen.com

I don’t live in Fargo anymore but family and friends are still there – and just how are they doing? Well here’s a map of Fargo – looks like they’re having the biggest flood since ever. The dark blue area is the Red River when it reaches its expected 42 ft crest on Saturday. The light blue areas are areas that could flood if the levees break. Ewww. Looks like Mom is in trouble…

But wait. On closer inspection we see her house would a little island…except for that little square of blue touching the house. Lets take an even closer look…

Oh that would happen to be the exact area where this basement window is. Thank goodness there’s nothing in that room that could get wet if the water comes rushing in the window or if the sump-pumps fail! (That’s sarcasm people.)

So to recap, everything blue could get wet if the water reaches 42 ft AND levees fail. But the best part…the most recent forecasts are predicting 43 ft. I’d show you what that looks like but the computer model only lets me go as high as 42 ft. I should also mention this is not a nice spring lets-take-the-canoe-out body of water. No, it’s like 10 degrees outside and the river is filled with sheets of ice. It’s like Fargo is the Titanic and its going down in the North Sea.

Also – I’m told the whole city is shut down, almost all businesses and banks are closed, and there’s only one bridge open connecting the city to the Minnesota, cell phone lines are jammed, and traffic is impossible. FUN! As luck would have it though, my brother had already booked a ticket to come out here for my gallery installation closing party next Friday so he’ll miss the clean-up effort – so sad.

Follow fargofloodstage on Twitter for hourly updates on, ya know, the flood. As of 9 minutes ago it was at 40.08 ft.

UPDATE: the crazy Westboro Baptist church ACTUALLY DID issue a press release declaring that GOD HATES NORTH DAKOTA. I was just dying to know their reason why being there isn’t a single gay bar in the state – but their claim is God hates Fargo because Fargo wouldn’t let them preach about hating gays when they came to town two years ago.

UPDATE March 29th: Looks like the river is going down now but some levees have failed due to erosion from the current. The river is 22 ft above flood level and will remain high for another week. No water in Mom’s house yet – no drama to report there.

From Saturday night. There will be a closing party too if you missed the opening – (probably April 3rd). There’s an interview with me in Hi Fructose about the show here. I’m exhausted. There will also be a closing party Friday April 3 8-11.

PARTY MONSTER – It’s this Sat – 7-10pm north of Chinatown in LA

Details to come.

Because it just doesn’t feel like a gym unless there’s neon. I know I haven’t seen gains like I used to since my dumpy third World Gym tried to go upscale and removed their neon and the mural of the squatting gorilla.

I spotted this at Scheels, the worlds largest sporting goods store – the one with the Ferris wheel and President mannequins inside. Their website lists their departments: Hunting, Fishing, Camping, Boating,  Biking, Fitness, Skiing, Skating, and Fudge.

Two firefighters were treated for frostbite after fighting the fire in -30 wind chill. Why they didn’t just let it burn, I have no idea – there’s nothing around it. It was closed at the time and the only injuries came from exposure to the weather not the fire. The back area still smells like tacos.