Egypt Extended Cut

Waaaaayyy back in October 2007, my friend asked me if I’d be his one man art dept. for a music video shoot for a reality/game show on VH1 called “Shoot to Kill.” The show was two teams competeing by remaking their version of a classic 80’s music video. We were allowed limited crew, two days to shoot, and $500. That’s it. I spent a couple weeks building and painting in my friend’s backyard and we only spent $130 of our own money. When the video was screened for the judges (the original band members were bart of the panel) they were silent, then one asked “When you were making this, did you know it was going to look that good?” And we were like “Uh duh. Isn’t that the point?”

This was one of my set sketches. The concept was she’s dead (which is why the movers have to literally move her), and she’s being prepped for the afterlife. As the movers go through her memories, anything that was alive (birds, fish, etc. are now dead and mummified. Everything else is gilded and getting wrapped also. One of the Bangles read it as a metaphor of being a pop star and how she recalled being constantly manipulated by others almost as literally as we’d shown.

For whatever reason the show will never air despite the whole season being shot. If u see Drew Barrymore ask her about it – she was one of the 11 executive producers.

Long Beach Opera liked my poster and set design for Good Soldier Schweik enough to ask me to design a poster for their next production too. Which I’m happy about because there WAY TOO MUCH shitty theater poster design in this town. I’ve often thought i should offer my services to theater row here in LA at mega-discount rates just to combat the eye pollution problem. Thats my weakness – i offer my services to fix things that are ugly – not jobs that pay well. Like this little chinese restaurant down the street that has this awesome facade but it’s painted in shit colors and one of these days i’m going to walk in (much like I did with the sex club) and say I think you should hire me to pick new colors for your exterior – and your interior – and let me redesign your logo – and menus…

Opening night is sold out. More pics to come after I recover. I designed all the sets/props as well as all 40-some illustrations projected on the scrim.

The Good Soldier Schweik for Long Beach Opera – It’s a comedy, in English, based on a Czech novel about the start of WWI. Only 2 performances, each in a different theater, the first one being far superior and almost sold out – Get Tix here if u want.

This is the tipsy bar – which i think is quite a sublime little piece. The mugs attach magnetically to metal hidden under the top allowing repositioning of the mugs – and re-balancing or un-balancing of the bar without the mugs falling.

this bed is made from platforms and crates used in other scenes. The look is spoze to be very traveling troupe with a circus/military feel.

I got this green chair for $5. Making it into a wheelchair cost a bit more.

These sketches were rough early concepts. The birdcage was found on craigslist and i added the extra who-ha at the top. I think adding chandelier crystals to those chairs and cage was a bit of genius but that’s me talking about myself. And let me tell u what a bitch it is to paint a birdcage.

I was planning on much more being completed by now but had to pause the sex club effort to do a mega job for a mega company (which I’ll be back on from mid Jan – mid May) and then was asked to design an opera (opens Jan 23 in Long Beach) – which I’m completely absorbed in right now. But in between the two i designed the club’s condom and lube packets.

The condoms aren’t in yet because they must go through FDA approval (yes even if only the packaging changed). In designing them i looked at automotive product packaging and the masculine simplicity of generic IKEA-like labeling. Once inside the club i try to avoid text as much as possible and switch to using icons instead – like a big drip shape to indicate “lube,” because reading is is a forced mental process but image recognition is part of our animal nature – and when you’re in a sex club u r definitely getting in touch with your primal state.

The auto-body shop inspired entry is almost done. It still needs the new light fixtures and a few other elements. I wanted to beat it up and distress it but i can’t bring myself to do it yet. Maybe by may it will have happened naturally.

O and this is why i’m not blogging much – BECAUSE I’M DESIGNING 3 JOBS. Sex club, opera, and this other big secret gig. And while doing all that i’m trying to get Obscene Interiors II to happen, launch a zine, plan another major gallery event/show/party for late summer/fall, and find a publisher for another book project. My bathroom hasn’t been cleaned in months and i’ve discovered Fabreze works when you don’t have time to do the laundry.

I’m also looking for graphic designers (especially with dimensional and/or way-finding understanding), set designers,  3-d modelers/CAD/sketch up, and a lighting designer. And when i say graphic designer I don’t mean someone who laid out their church picnic brochure. I mean a designer with FLAIR and DRAMA who also understands it’s a sin to stretch a font in Photoshop.

Ok so that’s the deal. I’ll continue to post when i can find the energy to stare at my computer for yet ANOTHER hour. But as long as no other dream jobs land on me i’ll be spending May-September 2010 creating my OWN awesomeness for your viewing pleasure. Omg i’m so exhausted most days i just want to cry.

The Good Soldier Schweik for Long Beach Opera – It’s a comedy, in English, based on a Czech novel about the start of WWI – if any of that interests you. There is also a scene with 5 guys in a bed together getting enemas. Maybe i should have gone with that for the poster image. There’s only 2 performances, each in a different theater, the first one being far superior I think – Get Tix here if u want.

A few years ago I was asked to design some concepts to fill this large atrium space in a mall in Jakarta called “FX”. None of my concepts were realized except for this slide, which was entirely inspired by the slides Carsten Holler did at the Tate in 2006 – something the client specifically requested – only flashier! Which is good because it bothers me when clients want me to do a rip-off of some artist’s work – I just tell them to hire that artist, then they’d get the bonus PR angle of having a “name” artist’s work in their space. But apparently clients assume “name” artists would be difficult to work with, unlike nameless wrists-for-hire like myself.

So here’s one of my renderings, and what what actually built – plus video of Asians flying out the end of it, skidding across the floor. I’m told “Atmosfear” is now the longest slide in the world (being the Tate ones were temporary), and that it’s wildly popular, and makes the mall a ton of money because you have to buy $10 worth of something to get a ticket to ride it.

Blank black corridors get tiresome, so liven up your sex club’s walls with super-graphic super-graphics. Here I’ve chosen a nice bj image to set the mood. To add texture I’ve designed a subtle background diamond-plating inspired pattern using the logo of the club.

Paint the wall black – a flat finish is nice and velvety but a bitch to keep clean. I’ve chosen a Dunn Edwards interior black in eggshell finish – a nice amount of gloss. (Don’t get high gloss or u won’t be able to draw on it with chalk in a later step.)

Draw a grid on the wall in pencil based on the repeat size of your pattern. 18″ in this case.

Cut an 18″ square of Gatorboard, then Spray 77 a 1/4″ piece of foam to the board, overlay your logo (remember to reverse it), then cut it out of the foam. Using the grid on the wall, start stamping. It’s ok if some drip or don’t fully stamp – it’s a sex club, things should get a little messy. I’ve chosen DE6356 “Sheet Metal” although the lighter gray, DE6348 “Draw Your Sword,” seems more appropriate given the venue.

Now, in Photoshop make a scaled 18″ grid over your artwork, then divide each of those squares in half and print it out. This is our guide as we draw the line work on the wall in chalk. It’s easy because you’ve already drawn a grid on the wall for the pattern, now divide those squares again. It helps if you number the squares along the side so u don’t get confused as you begin drawing on the wall.

Time to run a paint test. Because i want the blue linework to fluoresce under UV light I’ll be painting it with Wildfire brand blue UV reactive paint. I find it’s best to paint a flat white undercoat, then the UV paint on top. UV paint is very transparent so it will take a couple coats. Because i want this to really pop, i’ve mixed 7 parts UV blue to 1 part UV white.

Now wipe off all remaining chalk marks with a damp rag, and light with UV fixtures. To avoid blasting the hall with UV light (which would cause anyone wearing a white shirt to light up the whole area when they walked by) I’m not using blacklight flourescent tubes, instead, 6 mini-UV-LED-spotlights and 3 blue UV mini-spots from MiniSpotlight.com. Now you’ve got a hot sexy wall that looks great under under bright lights for a photo or porno shoot (and promotes your venue by stamping your club name all over the image!), as well as regular, dark, club cruising conditions.

 Not that they were employing me. I just sent them (and a few other companies) my unsolicited design suggestions. I was 11 and living in Fargo but that didn’t mean I couldn’t collaborate with international fashion conglomerates after school. The above is a duplicate I painted at the time. I’d gone to Dayton’s department store (the only place in Fargo that carried ESPRIT) and asked for the corporate address and was very frustrated that the salesgirls weren’t taking my request seriously – didn’t they realize they’d be selling my designs next season? In the response from ESPRIT headquarters Stuart writes “We’ve forwarded them (my designs) to our design department for consideration.” This, like, MADE MY YEAR!  Ugh!, nothing came of it but just to be considered, CONSIDERED! – Someone was listening to me! (Stuart, if you’re out there, give me a call!) The other kids in class thought i was bonkers painting all this ESPRIT stuff, but i wasn’t playing, I was WORKING.

I finished the logo months ago but just recently pulled out my “ESPRIT: The Comprehensive Design Principle” (which u MUST own! Get the MEMPHIS book too!) And was horrified/delighted to see one of my favorite childhood design inspirations was clearly on my mind when i created the logo for THE ZONE. But more surprising was how sex club appropriate much of the ESPRIT design aesthetic is/was.

I mean, how many of these industrial inspired patterns am I going to use in the club? – AS MANY AS I CAN!

In fact, I’d already painted one whole wall of the club in a diamond-plating pattern using the club logo. HOTNESS! More to come…

Back in January u may recall i went to a sex club here in LA and was shocked at how big it was, but also how dull it was. So I contacted the owner and pitched my concept to create “the world’s first ‘designer’ sex club” – meaning the first sex club to have any actual design too it. My one stipulation was that it be a top-to-bottom (punny!) visual makeover – including a new logo, new ads, online redesign, and the club itself. Work has already begun and will continue slowly before being completed by summer 2010. I promise grafitti-covered back-alley porno-set HOTNESS – AND vintage designer pleather and chrome HAUTENESS! – the ultimate Obscene Interior really. It’s the most challenging and most fun job I’ve ever had. It’s basically a fun house for adults. Here’s the new logo in one of the new ads. I wanted “Come inside.” but that implied endorsement of unprotected anal sex – and that’s angainst club rules. Much more to come…

Here’s the guest rooms. Again i’m using other people’s pics and don’t know when i’ll  see it myself. That’s what sucks about these projects – you work on them for years then they open without you. FYI my commercial work site is here showing other projects.

You can find small versions of the over-the-bed prints on ebay.