The biography of Quentin Crisp.

Obviously Disney felt it would be too gay to push Tinkerbell and the fairies on boys – so they invented “Sparrow Men” – yes – that solves everything.

Via Ned Hugar.

Exterface.com and my friend of House of Vader are responsible for this:

which is freaky because looking through my old sticker collection I found:

OUTPUNK zine at Goteblud in SF

Staged last month in Amsterdam by De Nederlandse Opera. I mean really – could this action-figure execution be more genius?

Brought 2 my attn via http://barihunks.blogspot.com

Very “this is the piece that’ll get me into art school.” Drag queens standing on a black shard. Sharks (a metaphor?). And a primitive Basquiat-inspired demon figure. Shit like this plays well in a crowded BFA portfolio review meeting – “This one’s got the passion, he just needs to focus.” – but after you’re accepted you don’t know what to do with it, and lord knows your parents don’t want it, so you stick it on your wall in a desperate attempt to deny it’s true fate: the thrift store. And it’s there a couple kids will find it and have a great “omg look at this” moment, maybe snap a pic on their cell phone, and then go to lunch without buying it.

Art like this is only acceptable to display if your mother painted it, and that’s what you see when you look at it. Because the rest of us see the most boring and overused image ever. Flowers in an old-world windowsill. And it’s horribly composed and poorly rendered (as this scene so frequently is). But again, if mom painted it it’s great and warm and u can keep it.

I bought this exact same print on a family trip to Laguna Beach when i was 15 or so. I didn’t care about the joke: “Sitting duck” har har. I just liked the chill nature of the duck. I needed any image supporting relaxation to be on my walls at that time.

I really try to be supportive of people being creative. But sometimes it’s really REALLY hard. I mean you have no idea how badly i want to put quotation marks around “creative” here.

Blurry squiggle flowers in a penis vase is a new way to combine two common subjects and secure a purchase from a gay buyer.

Great example of the piece that didn’t get you into art school.  You hang it on your wall in a sour grapes victory. Who needs art school anyway. Theory just turns you gay. I like colors. Immago paint my walls yellow.

20 years later you think about the suckers still paying off their CalArts loans while they work at a brand licensing firm and insisting finding ways to put Dora the Explorer on a toothbrush is “still being creative you know.” You might be working as a bar back and considering charging guys to watch you jack off online but u know that’s still better than Sallie Mae having a $50,000 grip on your ass into middle age. OMG this has nothing to do with what i’m supposed to be talking about. What’s happened to me. I’ve become an LA Weekly film critic.

Asians don’t handle alcohol well.

Evil witch holds hero prince hostage is the fairytale image, but gay revenge fantasy is what I read.

Maleficent was the ugly thin gay kid in school who now finds his fierceness (power) in dressing in outrageous, yet well designed outfits, while wearing excessive makeup and accessories to distract from his not-hot features (check out the shnozz and chin). In other words, feeling he possesses no celebrated masculine power traits he opts to gain attention by going full tranny – which of course just gets him/her labeled an even bigger freak who’s now not just ignored but shunned. (Remember the entire Sleeping Beauty debacle happens because Maleficent wasn’t invited to a baby shower.)

The tall skinny gay kid/Maleficent hates the prince because he’s the hot jock kid with rich parents who never had to work a day in his life and will get a sweet job from family connections by doing nothing. IT’S SO UNFAIR!  He lives in a bubble having no idea how the rest suffer. To make it worse, the tranny Maleficent also sorta wants to have sex with the prince but hates that she wants to – aghh, internal conflict, what to do? Tie him up – but not do anything to him! This way he’s forced to aknowledge you for once in you life and at least make eye contact, forcing him to see everything isn’t going as well for you because people like him disregard people like you.

Maleficent knows its a temporary victory and she will lose and he will win – like always. But before it’s over he’ll face the full force of her don’t-u-ignore-me bitch rage (when she becomes the dragon – FULL DRAMA QUEEN MODE!) After which, he will hopefully, she wishes, live the rest of his happily-ever-after days implanted with a tiny shrapnel of fear knowing there are people out there like Maleficent, who were not born pretty, rich, and connected, and they’ve got his number should he ever cross them again.

The walls in this first image don’t clash with the upholstery as much as CRASH with the upholstery. When dealing with greens of any signifigant intensity it’s important to do a paint test. As I’ve learned, sometimes the paint comes out a bit more acid-fluorescent than the more mellow paint chip.

This last room has it working though. The window trim is a great buttery color and the bamboo blinds and red couch are all helping each other nicely. The room above it looks like it was inspired but a bowl of cheap guacamole topped with sour cream.

[If u didn’t know: Obscene Interiors is my collection of real online male personal ad photos. I gray out the men to allow an undistracted view of the setting, so we may better study how men really decorate.

Obscene Interiors: Hardcore Amateur Decor is also a fun little gift book you can order direct from me - and I’ll sign it, or get it from Amazon.com or any cool bookstore.]

Here Steven Meisel’s version of the classic and cliche (but accurate!) i’m-a-crazy-photographer-yelling-direction-at-models bit JUST HAD TO BE MADE INTO AN IPHONE RINGTONE. U can thank me when i see u. DOWNLOAD IT and every time i call u now u must “KEEP MOVING KEEP MOVING – BUT REMEMBER THE FACES!!”

Saw this photo. Had to caption.