Somehow I’m plugged in to the bear circuit cuz I see now this only launched a few hours ago – and of course the first person i’m connected to is someone I know. bearchatroulette.com

Having been there myself i can say it’s often like living in a the kind of dream you get when you’ve gone to bed with the heater turned up too high – and i’m not being dramatic. I once ate at a restaurant there where a giant head swung down from the ceiling and shot ping pong balls out it’s mouth – i remember testicles were involved too, and another animatronic figure that just blew on his soup. I was also scolded frequently for sitting on the ground – BUT THERES NO FUCKING BENCHES IN ALL OF TOKYO. They really have a thing about how FILTHY FILTHY! the concrete apparently is. And this is Japan, so u can be sure every inch of it is steam cleaned every night. Even the homeless people won’t sit on it, and use cardboard instead (then make little signs indicating “no pictures.” And if you’re going to watch the parade at Tokyo Disneyland then you MUST bring or buy a small parade viewing blanket to put between your jeans and the gross disgusting sidewalk. Another dreamlike thing: in a shop around the corner from where i was staying I found the exact same zoo animals curtains that were hanging in my bedroom when i was 4 in Fargo – which I have never seen since – but here they were, IN A TINY JUNK SHOP IN TOKYO! I would have bought them BUT THEY WERE $90! It’s a city filled with WTF – in fact that should be the airport code.

Move over TRON lightcycle – I’ve got a new ride in mind.

Staged last month in Amsterdam by De Nederlandse Opera. I mean really – could this action-figure execution be more genius?

Brought 2 my attn via http://barihunks.blogspot.com

I’ve been seeing these around LA – PSAs from the Ad Council that must be the work of second year advertising students as this campaign appears based in ZERO audience research. Let’s break it down:

- my first read was “FAME,” not “FAKE.”

- the first statement is a request to “Take steroids.”

- but apparently you aren’t a “fake” until after you’re caught – hungh? what?- the whole point of using steroids is to make obvious gains in speed, size, and strength- outside of competitive sports (the ad is co-sponsored by the US Olympics committee) and Hollywood movie stars, no one really hides the fact they’re using them – they want the results to be seen.(And are there really that many Olympic athletes shopping at the Americana in Glendale where I saw this ad? No.)

- Did the creative team really think getting labeled a “fake”  is the biggest deterrent to using steroids? Hello. Have you seen that copper-orange goo bodybuilders openly slather themselves with before a competition? They aren’t hiding that they didn’t get that hue by putting in hours in the sun, nor do they care that you know they used steroids.

- There’s no distinction between illegal use and prescribed.

- I think going to jail would be a bigger deterrent to illegal use and stating so would clarify that the ad is addressing illegal use specifically.

- “DontBeAnAsterisk.com” – nice try but i don’t equate doing steroids with being an ass – having one, yes. And if they were trying to reference possible unwanted side effects with the asterisk graphics, well, they didn’t do anything with that idea.

- Steroids? This is the problem that warrants an ad campaign? There’s like a million other behaviors that are far more problematic and widespread – like incorrect use of apostrophes. Are there really more people “being fake” by going to the gym, eating right, and doing steroids, than the gazillions of people who are sedentary blobs taxing every aspect of healthcare (and my elbow room on a recent flight – ahem!)?

I highly recommend seeing “Bigger, Stronger, Faster,” this terrific documentary, mostly about steroid use and America’s contradictions with winning and cheating – and someone recently put it all on youtube. Do check it out before it’s gone.

So at EPCOT now there’s these Kim Possible missions you can go on where u get a special cell phone that gives you the clues u need to solve various capers.  I was tickled to get a mission set in the Norway pavilion – being I’m Norwegian and all – but oh, it got WAY better…

Ah was i gagging! Fur thefts! “Back to school” viking fashion! A drag queen shape-shifter named Camille Leon!?! Then I have to find a stolen painting she plans to turn into a handbag. Art thieves? Viking fashion? Could it get any better? YES. Then I’m supposed to infiltrate the runway show by posing as a model (every Norwegian’s true calling no?)…

Then I have to find a certain person and say “The viking look is all the rage this season.” And then the give you the designers card with the code you need to get into the show.

I won’t tell u how it ends but I can tell you it involved viking ghosts attacking runway models!?!! I mean really, it was like someone took everything i could have wanted and wrapped it into a little adventure for me. Art world, Fashion world, models, secret agent action, a photoshoot, viking ghosts!!!! And I didn’t mention theres booze at EPCOT. So there i am getting boozy and running around EPCOT by myself, taking orders from cartoons on a cell phone – a vacation activity i highly recommend!

Watch now b4 it vanishes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb_JIs1G4IM&feature=PlayList&p=C1B76313D924A812&index=0&playnext=1

It’s a documentary film about the making of the 2007 issue of VOGUE, and apparently more of u need to know about it because i’m tired of asking “Have u seen the September Issue?” and u say “The September issue of what?” Now u know ok. And lets take a moment to knowledge the genius choice of using Ladytron’s “Destroy Everything You Touch” as Anna’s theme song. DON’T ASK “ANNA WHO?”

People are gagging over the heels but it’s all about the prints AND THE CAMERAS! WERK ROBOTS WERK!

Mr. Black is every Tues at Bardot. I show up at the 4:00 mark. Glamour.

I’m so happy the 80’s never died – they just keep evolving like they broke off into a tangent universe.