Staged last month in Amsterdam by De Nederlandse Opera. I mean really – could this action-figure execution be more genius?

Brought 2 my attn via http://barihunks.blogspot.com

It’s a documentary film about the making of the 2007 issue of VOGUE, and apparently more of u need to know about it because i’m tired of asking “Have u seen the September Issue?” and u say “The September issue of what?” Now u know ok. And lets take a moment to knowledge the genius choice of using Ladytron’s “Destroy Everything You Touch” as Anna’s theme song. DON’T ASK “ANNA WHO?”

Mr. Black is every Tues at Bardot. I show up at the 4:00 mark. Glamour.

I’m so happy the 80′s never died – they just keep evolving like they broke off into a tangent universe.

Here Steven Meisel’s version of the classic and cliche (but accurate!) i’m-a-crazy-photographer-yelling-direction-at-models bit JUST HAD TO BE MADE INTO AN IPHONE RINGTONE. U can thank me when i see u. DOWNLOAD IT and every time i call u now u must “KEEP MOVING KEEP MOVING – BUT REMEMBER THE FACES!!”

I did this in 1999 and was not paid, I had one assistant part time and a budget of $3000. It’s not really my design because the director wanted the drained swimming pool bedroom from the 1972 film “Ciao Manhattan” starring Edie Sedgwick so I just gave him exactly that. That’s my illustration below (which the record company called “too cartoony.”)

The ONE thing I did get to design was the custom neon microphone that would glow in response to her voice. I had an effects guy from Imagineering fabricate it. When unveiled on set it got an applause. I was very happy about that. I still have it in a box.

But the record company treated me horribly and referred to me as “that theme park guy.” However the singer, Ambrosia Parsley, was very sweet and has a great look. (I have a prop notebook I had her decorate while she was getting her makeup done if there’s a fan out there that wants it.)  This song also plays over the end credits of Kill Bill Vol 2.

OMG I just watched it again and realized the black satin pillowcases on my bed came from this video. Also I’d forgotten how when I showed up the second night of the shoot, the pool was still being drained and had several feet of water in it. I waited a half hour for the pumps to drain it but then the record company started to freak out and demanded that I start placing the furniture and building her water bed IN THE WATER! I pointed out that this would ruin some of their set decorating but I guess they were fine paying the repalcement fees. So I took of my shoes, rolled up my jeans and prayed none of the electrical cords would fall in and electrocute me. The boards floated around and it was like trying to build a bed in zero G. It’s a miracle it didn’t collapse later.

Also, the director wanted to have Ambrosia spray a can of hairspray over a lighter to make that mini-flamethrower effect. I knew this was horribly dangerous (I have a scar on my nose from an aerosol can exploding when I was a kid). So, what I did was wait until all the record label people got there and then I handed the director the lighter and hairspray knowing he would immediately begin playing with it to show off to the execs. Sure enough, he did just that and they FREAKED THE SHIT OUT and said NO FUCKING WAY. So Ambrosia, you can thank me for saving you from Aqua Net exploding in your face.

So last month the most romantic thing in the world happened to me. I’d gone to the World of Wonder Christmas Rollerskating party at the Moonlight Rollerway dressed in appropriate winter wonderland gear and was skating around by myself. Drag queens were in abundance. RuPaul was the DJ. And I saw this cutie leaning over the edge so I smacked him on the ass as I rolled by. A few revolutions later and this cutie skates by me and our eyes lock and he just grabs my hand without a word and then we’re skating and holding hands like it’s nothing at all and THAT’S CRAZY isn’t it? Did he know I was the ass smacker? (Later I learned, no.)

We form a train with other skaters, take turns swinging each other out on the turns. THEN RUPAUL PUTS ON XANADU, one of my most favorite songs EVER and the BEST song to skate to IN THE UNIVERSE! So the cutie and I who haven’t said a word between us other than “whoa!” and “wheee!” grab hands AND SKATE TOGETHER TO XANADU IN A CINEMATIC MOMENT OF EXQUISITE GAYNESS! We haven’t reached the first chorus and I’m thinking DREAMS DO COME TRUE when another skater zooms by the cutie causing him to release my hand as he falls forward. I fall backwards and land on my hand and elbow. (Later I’d be told I hadn’t learned how to fall. Metaphoric AND true.)

I get off the ice, I mean rollerskating rink, and the cutie rushes over and sits with me while I go into shock and nearly vomit. He gets me a bag of ice from somewhere and a couple pills. I tell him he doesn’t have to drug me to have his way with me. And I press the ice to my wrist which I’m holding on top of my head to keep the swelling down. I tell him I think he should kiss me and he does, and does, and undoes my shirt buttons, and people are giving us some extra room and I say ok you need to stop cause you’re causing swelling somewhere else now. I start shivering and I ask him if he could go get my hat and scarf that I tossed on a bench on the other side of the rink. He goes and gets them AND THEN PUTS THEM ON AND GOES BACK TO ROLLERSKATING, which was not how that was supposed to go.

The next morning x-rays showed my wrist was not broken but severely sprained. Over a month later my elbow still hurts enough I scheduled an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. But I did get the guy’s name, Matt Alber. He’s a singer and here he is performing his mega romantic song “End of the World” in his MEGA ROMANTIC video that’s been misting eyes of grown gay men since it was released a few days ago.

This was my first of a series of music video jobs where I was a one man art department. Not that there was much to on this aside from the velvet curtain, renting some lamps you never see, and aiming a fan at the stripper girls that got cut from the final edit because MTv said it was no longer acceptable to feature girls dancing on poles. (Side note: The girl, unaware of my presence lying on the floor aiming the fan at her, kicked her chair off the stage which flew legs-first towards me shattering the fan sending the blades flying across the set and everyone thought I’d been horribly injured.) 

Also the fight you see with the guys was real; this was filmed at Three of Clubs in Hollywood; and the fire was my thing and here’s how you do it: Spray-paint a sheet of plywood flat black and let dry. Squirt it with charcoal lighter fluid (it burns the right speed), flip it over onto two sawhorses and light the fluid on the underside. Film the whole thing by shooting into a mirror placed at an angle under the plywood. This lets you keep the camera a safe distance from the fire. Just watch for drips onto the mirror. After doing this a few times the board will start to burn so you have to watch that. And let it cool before reapplying lighter fluid. When the video ran on Beavis and Butthead they were mostly interested in the fire.

It started with just rubbing the butt but he liked it more the harder I got so now I just smack his but like I’m violently playing bongos and he goes into orgasmic fits and falls off my lap. We do this like 3 times a day. 

This was a design for another project that didn’t happen but I always liked it and now that I have a fancy iphone I had a reason to make it into my screen wallpaper. All the other wallpapers I found ignored the iphone graphics that get overlaid on the BG image so I wanted to design one that incorporated the clock and slider bar/buttons. DOWNLOAD the wallpaper here.

I’ve also been converting some Disney mp3s into iphone ringtones to go with this theme. Here’s The Haunted Mansion Crow, The Haunted Mansion Coyote, The Haunted Mansion Bells, The Big Thunder Mountain Coyote, The Spinning Teacups, and the one I’m using that’s from the Disneyland Paris 15th anniversary celebration (I guess). When it goes off it’s like ULTRA-MAGICAL!!!, or SUPER GAY!!! which are sort of the same thing.   

Oh hi!

I’ve parked my Ferrari by this True Value Hardware semi here-

and I’m enjoying a delicious wine cooler-

I’ve forgotten if I ever had a job, I don’t care what I’m doing tomorrow-

Today it’s sunny in this national park and I’m loving this song-

The air is so clean, I’m gonna toss my hair around in it-

Take a few steps forward, then back-

My obsession with this scene from National Lampoons Family Vacation has little to do with Christie being “hot” but everything to do with how perfectly everything about her performance captured EXACTLY what that scene (,the movie, and the entire concept of the American Vacation) was aiming for. If you don’t want to be her after seeing this then you sir are a liar and no fun to be around.

The funny thing is if this were filmed to day it would be so over produced it wouldn’t work. The accidental genius of the set up is how casual and real it is. (In the film’s commentary the director talks about how he didn’t even realize that giant semi was there until later.) This makes the impact so much stronger because it doesn’t read like a slow-mo, Hollywood fantasy but something that could actually happen on a road trip. And how badly do we want it to!